The Drive Home from the Funeral Services

You are gone several weeks now.
Gone?
No.
Transitioned into the Non-Physical Realm.
The Place above this Pettiness.
The Place where DICK CHENEY and I will learn to be friends — and other such Unimaginable Graces
The Place where All is Forgiven.
The Place of Higher Consciousness.
The Place we all reside.
As THE COURSE IN MIRACLES tells us, “’Heaven and Earth shall pass away’ means that they shall not continue to exist as separate states.”

Evidence exists.
Evidence may be accepted or dismissed.
But it is still Evidence.

The Service was Beautiful.
I and the other Pall Bearers were asked to file by your casket first, and then wait in the office at the funeral home, to carry you.
Myself and your other friends — your Community — all of us at a stage of life when our suits don’t fit as well as they perhaps once did, but with less occasion to wear them in recent years — huddled in an office too small for the seven of us.
Seven seems an odd number for pall bearers as it is, well, an odd number. And a Prime Number. I remembered that.

I look up the meaning of the number 7, and discover a flood of such phrases as:
“…spiritual, eternal…”
“…a message from the angels that they are happy with the choices that you have made…”
“…Number 7 finds a place between the world of life and the world of death…”
“…It refers to completeness and the aspect of things well done…”
“…the number of spiritual perfection — which is stamped on every work of God…”
“…considered beneficial and protective…”

From out of Nowhere, a Bee
Flies amidst our Grouping and hits me right on the eyelid at quite a force,
Then bounces into STEVE’s side, then to JOE…
Hitting all of us,
Circling amidst us,
And then disappearing as spontaneously as it arrived.

No open windows in the office there,
And it was seen neither before nor after that.
I check my phone as to the symbolism of what a bee might herald,
Just in case…

“The bee symbolizes community, brightness and personal power. Follow the bee to discover your new destination…”
“…service, diligence…the collection of wisdom from the experiences of life…”
“…the bee reminds [us] that the seemingly smallest among us can be powerhouses for change. The bee is a symbol of strength in terms of getting busy to create harmony in our world…”

At your Service, JOE reads a Personal Tribute, a Testament to your Life and our Friendship.
The Bells in the Chapel Begin to clang.
The Bells Bells Bells Bells Bells Bells Bells…
He continues to Read your Praises throughout,
Eliciting smiles and laughter and tears of appreciation from those present.
Were it not for the microphone at the lectern, he would not be heard over the ceaseless toll.
I reach for my phone and look up the symbolism of Bells.

“…The sound of the bell is universally accepted as a way of communicating with the spirits, or as a herald for the arrival of a supernatural, holy power…”
…a call for increased awareness. May indicate a call to duty or responsibility, A Bell connotes a life element that’s full of extra benefit…”

No doubt to me you are here
And you are making your presence known.
Some might say that it was merely noon
And perhaps the Bells go off in that small New England church every day at noon — just like that.
Perhaps, if you choose to subscribe to that mundane explanation,
You could convince yourself that that is the sole happening.
But I see a Soul Happening.
I know you are here.

At the Graveside, the service is perfunctory, as such things are.
Funeral Directors and Priests running through their routine — perhaps one of three or four today.
Your sister overrides the dreary banality with a seeming Bolt of Lightning, reading the following poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. 
 
            — Mary Elizabeth Frye

It is a day of Beautiful Thick Autumn Cloud Cover.
Suddenly, without warning, at the last lines of that poem, the sky opens and the sunlight bursts through. Birds begin to circle in the distance.
I cannot stop smiling for I know that you want us to know!
And I Know
Because you Know.

JOE and LISA offer me a ride home from Massachusetts under the Beautiful New England Autumn Sky,
A Rich Tapestry of abundant Cloud Cover for most of the ride.
As we talk about you and continue to recount memories from our All Too Brief Time Together in this World,
I notice the gentlest raindrops I have ever seen beginning to dot the windshield in front.
They are infinitesimal and slowly — oh, so imperceptibly — covering the glass until it is like a sheet of glass entirely bubbled with barely discernable Flecks of StarDust.
“Joe,” I point out, “your windshield…”
“Oh’ he exclaims casually, as he turns on the windshield wipers.
“No. Don’t erase it,” I tell him.
“Do you remember the poem that IVONNE read at the graveside?”
“I remember it was Beautiful, but I don’t remember the exact words,” he replies.
I quote, “I am the gentle autumn rain.”
Have you ever noticed a gentler Autumn Rain?

A mere attempt to capture the raindrops upon the windshield with a  photograph cannot do justice to this experience.

It steadily and oh so Gently dots the windshield for another ten minutes or so.
Then the Sky before us opens,
And although the camera on my phone cannot do it justice,
The Beams of Light radiate down
Like an illustration from one of our High School Religion Text Books of the Presence of the Holy Spirit!
Only we know in our Hearts that it is You!

Since then, it seems like everytime I look at my phone it is Angel Time…
You know, when the numbers line up… Some say this only happens at 11:11.
Others say it is anytime the numbers repeat.
I only know that lately, it occurs nearly every time I look at my phone…
The consistency defies the now-diminished possibility of randomness.

The bracelet we gave you a few months ago for your Birthday — a simple silver band that says “Loved,”To let you know you are Loved.
At your funeral, your sister returned it to me
To let me know I am Loved by You.
Your Gift is Received.

I had occasion to go into my Sock Tower when I got back home — I came across an unusual pair of socks — a bit athletic and hiker-y comparer to my usual bright and kitschy fare.
“Where did I get these?” I wondered.
There was a piece of paper inside.
And there you are again!
Yes, you had given them to me last Christmas! I had forgotten.
I do not ever recall a gift receipt signed with someone’s name…
And yet, there you are, saying “Hello!” again…

The other day, I was at my local coffee shop having Breakfast,
as the Breakfast Special there is one of my Favorite things!
I was just Enjoying Life’s Many Ordinary Miracles, and in that vibration of Gladness, I could feel your Presence.
Working on my laptop, when I glanced over at my phone it was 11:11.
I smiled.
I Know you are there.
I continued working for awhile.
I made it halfway through my vegetable egg white omelette with one egg yolk (my “usual”) (Have to have a little Fun in Life, right?), and drank a cup and a half of Decaf Coffee, while responding to several emails.
I looked up again and the time on my phone read, “11:11.”
I looked around.
Had I died?
Had time stopped?
Could anyone else there see me?
What had happened?
More had passed since I last looked at the phone than could possible have been completed in less than a minute.
I continue to look around…
Has time stopped?
Did the current occupant of the Oval Office take it one more step too far,
And are we now gone?
Transitioned over?

Notice the time stamp on the phone screen, and to the upper right in the background on the computer screen

I look at the clock on the wall and it is closer to 11:30.
I look again at my phone with its routinely infallible GPS Time…
11:11.
I look at the time stamp on my laptop;
It confirms what the clock on the wall says.
I am clear it is you.
I wonder if you will allow me to share it.
You always liked my Blog and were so supportive of my Writing — though the message of the Bee is clear: get busy to create harmony in our world!
So I edit much of the politics out of this post.
But how can I get a picture of the two times, as one of them is on the phone with which I would need to take the picture.
I ask my old Greek Waiter if he has a phone on which I might take a picture.
“AHHHHH,” he grumbles, “I have old flip phone. It can take picture but I cannot send to you. I always say, ‘You call me at home. You want to reach me, you call me at home! I pick up or you leave message and I call you back! I do not need this kind of phone…’”
I carry my open laptop to the front of the coffee shop and I ask the hostess if she would take a picture for me of my phone next to the computer time stamp so that I can share it here.
It takes her a while to understand what I am asking and to get her camera set up after she distractedly scrolls through a stream of pictures on her phone first.
Finally she opens her camera and takes the picture for which I am so Grateful.
I thank her, and the time on my phone suddenly switches back to the current time,
11:29.

Was it just a glitch in the GPS Time on my phone?
Sure! As surely as it were just Bells going off at noon and random Autumn weather and the movement of Clouds and the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight with No Significance.
Except that we — you and I — live our Lives with Significance.
Knowing that we are Still There long after our Physical Bodies — this 98% Water and 2% Dust — have been left behind on this Earth!
Knowing that we continue to Shine
And Blaze
And Stop Time
And Care
And Love
And Bring Messages of the Continuance,
Providing Glimpses into the Eternity that we are…
11:11
11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11:11…
11111111111111111111111111111111111111…
Numerologically, “1” signifies New Beginnings…
The Start of Something…
Leaving this Earthly Plane puts us at the start of our rediscovered newly Embraced Infinity…
our Oneness with the Infinite!

I feel you there!
And Knowing you There
I Know Myself!
I Know my Power!
I Know that What is Possible reaches Way Further than what I may see from this limited Vantage Point…
You are the reflection of a thousand Suns,
And way more soft stars that shine at night than this one Galaxy can hold!
I understand the Bees and the Bells and the Gentle Autumn Rain and the Beams of Light Breaking through the Clouds.
I understand the significance of time — a mere construct within Infinity for this one phase of our Learning,
Our Teaching,
Our Healing,
Our Forgiveness,
The Revolution of our Soul…
Pathetic in its attempt to measure our One Human Life in this brief Expanse…
To reduce Glory to what we can Understand on this earthly plane.
Sure, it was just noon at the Church.
It was just the New England Weather!
You think so?
Because if I didn’t know better, I would think that rain was just on our car and no one else on the highway experienced it at all!
But, sure…
Occasionally time stops!
So what if I never saw that happen before since the invention of CellPhones!
So what if I just happened to be thinking of you in that moment!
Yeah…No!
You are as Present as the last time I saw you when I gently kissed your hand and told you to enjoy the Adventure!
You are as present with me as when, in the weakened state of your final days, I told you a joke and you smiled knowing that that smile would take more energy than you could conceivably have had at that stage, but unable to resist because what is Life if not to Smile and Laugh and Dance and Delight with Everything we have
and Give just a little beyond that so that we may Learn what else is There!
You are now amidst What Else is There…
Now You Know!
And I Know because you Know!

Born in Ecuador, you came here as a Young Girl,
And Your appetite for all you saw before you Awakened instantly!
TO VOTE was a Miracle!
You Embraced that Miracle!
You Embraced All the Miracles of Life
And Freedom
And This Country
And the Voice of the People
And the Magic that we can Create!
And Oh, You Created So Much Magic:
A Home for Your Mother,
Your Beautiful Marriage,
Our Circle of Friends,
The America of Your Dreams…
Things we only come to understand as Magic after we have left here,
For upon this Plane of Earthly Miracles, Day to Day Magic seems so ordinary!

Today in the Christian Calendar is All Saints Day:
11/1
11/1/18 (That has a noticeable 11:11 in it!)

Tomorrow is one of my Favorite Days in the Christian Calendar: All Souls Day!
When we Celebrate all those we Love who have gone Before Us…
I celebrate this day in my own way.
According to Catholicism, All Souls Day is dedicated to those who have died, but not yet been permitted into Heaven. Such souls remain in Purgatory where the prayers of the faithful may get them into Heaven — kind of like the Pixar Movie, COCO.
Except that in the Seventeenth Century, the Catholic Church sold “Indulgences” which gave you, in effect, Kingdom Points — kind of a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ Card.
As CHRISTOPHER DURANG says in SISTER MARY IGNATIUS EXPLAINS IT ALL FOR YOU: A person may expect to remain in Purgatory for between one million and sixteen-hundred-billion years, but when compared to all eternity…”
But we can temper the strict Catholic View of this holiday with THE COURSE IN MIRACLES which says,
“Heaven is here. There is nowhere else. 
Heaven is now. There is no other time.”
And then we may see in it a Beautiful Holiday with much to Celebrate — Our Connection to the Souls of those who have gone before us!
All Our Souls!
Their Souls!
Our Souls!
Your Soul!
My Soul!
All Souls!

I Celebrate ALL SOULS Day
Every Day!

Here.
No Other Place.
Now.
No Other Time.

No Day But Today.

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